italian shoes, italian ice cream & the death of a king

well, correspondants... what a week this has been!

it passed off quite uneventfully. all i was focussed on was getting to wd4 as i had a phuza thursday planned. myself, sporty and moor were going to see this band at zula in long. the members of which are all singing waiters at stardust - called heartshaped heresy. sporty and i got the party started a bit early at my place and we were suitably ready by the time we left.

moor joined us later and the night went off a hit. at 02:00 sporty and i were getting our kfc zinger wings fix in green point, checking our respective facebooks, etc, whatever... and there it was - facebook was popping with the news: michael jackson, dead at 50. damn - it was a shock. even in our heavily inebriated state, it was a shock - a major one. the death of a legend...

it was like one of those moments you'll always remember the context of. it's like, you'll always remember where you are when:

• nelson mandela was released (at my gran's place in the 'plain)
• when lady di died (again, at my gran's place...)
• when 9/11 struck (at my place in jozi - just got in from work)
• and now when michael jackson died (at kcf, 02:00, green point)

wow - who ever knew mj would ever clock in. damn, he seemed ageless - thanks to his increasing insanity and his numeruos plastic surgeries, sure - but also someone who seemed so out of step with reality. a little boy, stuck in his carefully constructed dreamscape. sad, really. he is a musical legend. and will be remembered as such. sincerely, i hope he finds some peace - wherever he finds himself. i'm just saying...

a tragic character, really. apparently abused as a kid, famous too soon, a brilliant musical genius, adored pop king, an apparent sick penchant for young boys, massively indebted, weird, freak, worshipped by many, giving and generous, a father, a son, a brother, a sadly tortured artist. but somehow, all this is forgotten when you listen to the genius of 'off the wall' and you realise, you've had the privilege of knowing such a luminous and amazing artist. rip, michael.

friday night included more revelry at stardust. i was well sauced by the time my cab picked me up. fantastic evening. great singing, etc. then we awayed to decadance at the biscuit mill. oi, now that was a dance-marathon. great venue, 80's music, great company - who could ask for more. danced my ass off, seriously.

just got back from the waterfront, actually. and who doesn't love a bit of a bargain. i've been in shoe hell lately. the search for the elusive basic black shoe has been exhausting. you name it - i've been to that shop. v&a, canal walk, cavendish, you name it... months now... and what do you know? picture it - me, strolling rather innocently and then something cought my eye. 50% off sale at socrati. **and a smile spreads across neil's face** i enter. immediately see what i've been searching for fruitlessly for months now. literally, i'm just saying... a super-elegant, beautifully constructed, hand-made italian loafer. i grab it immediately, possessively. it fits perfectly - like a fucking glove - like all well made shoes do.

i end up getting it, plus a version in tan, and then my eye falls on the most über-chic brown loafer. trés elegant. simply arresting. and as i slip it on, i immediately feel like a gazillion bucks. i feel important, just slightly more important than the plebs surrounding me, like i was poised to change the course of history. no fucking joke. so, at the end, i got 3 pairs, 50% off. neil = happy! and as if that wasn't decadent enough... i had to top it off with my favourite italian ice-cream - turkish delight. omg. that's all i can say.

so, another week stares us squarely in the face. you know what we must do? stare the fuck back. we are strong and will not be beaten.

ciao ;)

104

yes... admittedly, it has been 104 days since my last blog posting. this equates to 2,496 hours or 149,760 minutes or even a staggering 8,985,600 seconds - i'm just saying... ok, now everyone knows i can use excel. but, hey... it's been a long time and i've missed this. so why the absence?

well, you see my life's been highjacked. yep, HIGHJACKED! not my car... but my friggin' life. you see, my job has become... mmm, a bit of a fuck-up, to be honest. the monolith still provides my monthly wage faithfully - that's not really the problem, though - although it could be a bit more, but let's not go there. this rant is about my current project assignment.

at present, i am assigned to a major multi-country project at a petrochemical multi-national (oooh, so may multi's). now, when i joined this assignment, i was hopeful, happy, fit, ready, etc. all the good things in life - it almost seemed to me that i was on the cusp of this amazing new life. currently, i am hopeless, unhappy (at work), unfit - haven't been to the gym in months, etc. so, why the sea-change? well, this is what happens when you have no work-life balance. it sounds trite and lazy - but all work and no play makes neil a very dull and miserable boy this project has had an overwhelming effect on my life. the hours are punishing. the pace is unforgiving. the pressure is untenable. i have, honestly, never worked as hard as this in my entire life. i'm just saying...

to the extent that i haven't blogged for 104 days. to the extent that i haven't been to gym in months. to the extent that i am **urgh** for 10 - 12 hours of my day. and why, oh why, am i putting myself through this shit? well, i'm a professional and can't see myself walk away from this without a successful resolution. ja, ja - i know, so i should shut my trap and stop complaining, right?

there are less that 5 months to the resolution of this, though. 146 days to be exact. 3,504 hours, 210,240 minutes, 12,614,400 seconds. now doesn't that just make you wanna jump for fucking joy? actually, i am past the half-way mark. started there on 12 january... so i've already served 159 days. 146 days to go until my release and i can't fucking wait. but... then what? there is an offer / possibilty to join other country deploys for this project. and it may be easier going forward, but... we'll see. and you know, in today's climate - thank heavens that i have a job. that's always in my mind, even in the darkest days of deadline hell, that's what keeps me going. never take anything for granted. stay humble and thankful.

i made a comment the other day that i can't imagine working after i hit 40. seriously, i can't imagine it. so i have 8 years to win the lotto ;)

ok, now that you know that my professional life is an utter misery, what else has been happening with me. well - don't fret - i am not about to give a 104 day blow-by-blow account. i'll spell out some salient points - if i can remember them. my memory is fucked.

• my sister's getting married! yes, exciting times for mon famille. this will be the only wedding my poor mother can expect - so yes, it's gonna be an affair... tasteful, intimate and elegant, but an affair nonetheless.
• i've lost a backstreet boy. 50kg gone and i am well chuffed with my progress. probably have around another 15kg to go for my goal.
• i've managed, WITHOUT ANY EXERCISE in 104 days, to keep my weight steady. the no-carb lifestyle is so ingrained in me. but i gotta be careful. even though my weight is steady, i can feel the slightest expansion. so i have to get toned up again.
• i have (work-pressure notwithstanding) been partying up a storm of late.
• made some good friends and connections on this project - yes, it's not all bad.

ja, so where will i find myself next year? who knows? if i accept the next country deploy [the likely options are cee (central & eastern europe - to be based in budapest), russia (mmm, no thanks!), turkey (yes, please) or a project role in london (less excited re this prospect as london is a hole, quite frankly)], i'll be outta here.

should i elect to stay in sunny ZA (and this is most definitely my preference), i could stay in cape town if there is a good project to join or i would then have to start a weekly commute to ol' jozi - which is not entirely distastrous. i'm just saying...

so yes, dear correspondents... that's me in a very small nutshell. i'll try my best to update y'all at least once a week with the goings-on in my little life. bye for now...

33 days

hello! well, it's been 33 days since my last blog posting? yes, thirty-three days. why? well, it's kinda been three weeks of franticism (i might've just invented that word - so forgive me). i've been having a tough time, admittedly. work-wise, that is. all is ok, but the workload and the pace is proving to be more than a bit punishing.

my life of late has been filled with deliverables, deadlines, etc, ad nauseum... no more time for blogging, facebook, twitter - none of that. sad, really. although i moan about it, i am thankful - everyday - that i still have a job. in today's economy, i am very fortunate.

and the heat... urgh - the mother city has been sweltering. with an average temperature of 40 degrees celsius - it has been unbearable. during the day, the temperature is moot 'cos you are sitting in an air-conditioned office. but, just step out of that building. think: wilted flower. it's like disembarking at durban's airport. first, you are hit by a wall of heat followed by being drenched in sweat. not. a. pretty. sight. i'm just saying.

so, besides work, i've been getting along fine. all is going great guns with the weight loss. i am now within 10kg of my interm goal. am exceptionally happy about that. it has been a long journey for me. a long one, indeed. it sounds so shallow but being slimmer has had a profound effect on my well-being (physically and emotionally). like i said, exceptionally happy about that.

been spending great quality time with friends (sporty and sannie, especially). i had such a magical interlude a couple of weeks ago. we were sitting at bacini's (right at the top of kloof) on a perfect summer night, great food, great company, great surroundings. it was sublime. heavens, i've gotta live higher up in the city bowl, at some point. those neighbourhoods are beautiful (oranjezicht, higgovale, upper gardens, tamboerskloof - love it).

last night i went to my high school reunion thing. not an official reunion with teachers, speeches, etc. it was at the galaxy (a real cape town institution). amazing to see so many old faces, friends, etc. what a great night. reminded me of the person i was 15 years ago (in a good way). i haven't been back to the galaxy in over 10 years! and it felt befok.

of late, i've been occupied with thoughts of my future. it is unlikely that i will be in cape town next year. work-wise, there is not much to sustain me here anymore. my current assignment ends in december this year and i don't want to be in cape town on an unbillable basis - been there. it's boring and no fun. one of three options are likely:

• stay in south africa: i will probably commute to jozi as there are tons of projects happening there. *check the excitement in my eye* in all honesty, i really don't want to get into the whole commuting thing again. it's tiresome and leaves you rudderless. a mindless minion on the weekly commute...
• leave south africa: join the project on an international basis: my current assignment is on a multi-country, global implementation and there are many opportunities to join other country deploys or join the central project control in london. will be brilliant for my cv. excellent experience. blah, blah. i don't want to leave my country and this would be a second last resort.
• leave the monolith: and join another organisation in an attempt to stay in cape town. unlikely - the monolith is really the employer of choice in my field. i would be dumb to leave them.

really, i don't want to leave. cape town is my home and the BEST place in the world. so, let's see how it goes and where i end up. sincerely, i hope that something opens up for me in the mother city.

anyway, till later ;) stay cool!

weekend update

omg - and what a weekend it was. in the time preceding the revelrie, i was pissing myself with excitement. all i can say is that it was MORE than worth it.

it started with stardust on friday night. now - i've been to this particular establishment maaaany times in the past. and my visits are ALWAYS accompanied by a fucking good time. i'm just saying... so the plan is set in motion.

sporty and half her colleagues are invited. oh, there were just too many to list. the usual suspects + some new additions. sporty, sannie and i decide to share a cab. a very intelligent and responsible decision. 'cos let me tell you - the last time we were there, it got a bit scary. i was completely tanked... as was sporty. i drove behind her down the main road in the very early hours and... well, let me say - that will not be happening again. deeply irresponsible. ok, whatever!

all in all, there were about 30 or more of us. friends, colleagues and families. and it fucking rocked! sannie and i sang and danced our asses off. joined by the cilliers sisters, the pom, the french and a plethora of others. the performances were great. everything just gelled sooo well. bliss ;)

many, many, many double jamesons later, we decamp. sannie is passed out at this stage. everyone else is barely standing. i call our cab and we are off.

a few hours later i awake to a recklessly spinning room. hangover city. urgh. i have a greasy breakfast of bacon and eggs and feel a bit better. call sporty and she is doing less than well. even a stint at the porcelain god didn't help. one solution - you gotta EAT! so we decide to meet a melissa's...

moi, sannie, sporty and sean. the latter 3 opted for full-on brekkie's. i decided on a single espresso which went down very well. followed by a gawd-awful strawberry milkshake. well, to my woefully untrained palate - it seemed awful. you see - i am accustomed to milkshakes of the cape flats variety. i.e. a wimpy shake. or at the worst, a nice pink nesquick. mmmmm. don't give me a concoction made with fresh berries and ice cream that is the palest shade of pink. i want full on neon pink strawberry milkshake. ok!

sannie and i are gasping for something else relaxing. we are off to my place for some serious chilling. laughs, eats, and everything in between ;) then as if we didn't have enough we are off to meet the pom and the cilliers' and chaddie for drinks at rafikki's. many chili-poppers and a few pizzas - enough is enough. too much!

sunday was reserved for doing my tax return - which took all of 10 minutes! sars e-filing is a breeze! seriously!

i'm just not feeling it...

so here i am. at my new work assignment. be careful what you wish for...

and you know... i don't know... i. am. just. not. feeling. it. dunno how else to put it. the work is ok. work is work so that is a comforting constant. this all seems so ungrateful. and don't get me wrong - i am thankful and happy to be engaged in here. i could've been cooling my heels at the monolith but i am here now.

am i happy here? is anyone ever happy? really, truly happy? well - it is about my team. there are 7 people in my team. 5 of which are totally cool. 2 of which i am just not gelling with. not that there is any hostility - not in the least. all is tempered by professionalism and fake cordiality but...

you know when you KNOW someone secretly hates your guts. nothing needs to be said. nothing needs to be actioned. it is a very subtle nuance. i sometimes wonder if i am imagining it. am i being over-sensitive? well - this one (lets say person 1) - i just don't get a positive vibe from this person. for whatever reason...

and on to person 2. it is not personal with person 2. person 2 treats all with a similar disdain. again - nothing out in the open. just subtle passive-aggressive bullshit. and laziness. now, let me tell you - one thing i HATE is laziness. another is passive-aggressiveness. person 2 is also a competitive sports freak. i do not need to hear the latest cricket score updated every 2 minutes. that i need like i need a fucking hole in the head, ok.

these 2 are the only blights on my immediate horizon. oh, and the credit crunch, global warming, etc. but these 2 are in my face WHOLE DAY. and you know... it is bumming me out. oh, forgot to mention - person 1 thinks that the sun shines out of person 2's friggin' arse. so, you can imagine.

i am not THE most happy, excitable, jokey person on the planet - this i know. i am in my 30's now. if i don't find your joke funny >> i am not gonna laugh for it. PERIOD. maybe i am just a mis-match for this team. i am writing this post 'cos i need to get it out. or i am due to EXPLODE very soon.

and i can't afford that. i need this assignment. the grim alternative would be relocating to JHB - don't want that. so i think i just need to suck it up. define my boundaries. and work. it's really just for another 10 months. i can handle it. i better. then it's on to the next engagement.

on to some positive news. the weight is just falling off me. i am 8kg lighter than i was 2 months ago. not just soema, you know. exercise and diet consumes my life - just kidding. but i am working hard to get to my goal.

tardy! i have been sooo busy getting to grips with this new project - i just haven't had the time. so, until next time...:)

second one for the day...

i'm back!

so, after nye, nyd, etc, my 32nd birthday was just hanging around there - staring me squarely in between the eyes. rather depressingly, actually. i was torn as to how this red-letter-day was to be celebrated. all i knew was that it wasn't gonna involve going to a club. i wanted to be as close to home as possible - that's all i knew.

and then a plan was hatched. we would have drinks at this hotel around the corner - damn i at least had to go out somewhere. and then walk back to my place for a scrumptious dinner and more revellery. and that was exactly how it panned out. more or less.

and then drinks was had and the party at my place went off a treat. what i can remember of it in any case. menu: sushi and kfc. seriously, can it get any better?

in attendance were sporty, jonny&ange, frenchie, moor, moor's brother, mr ghana, em&trace, the cillier sisters. ja, i think that covers everyone. it was FUN FUN FUN!! and now i am 32. thirty-fucking-two. i feel soooo old - seriously. but i'm cool with it, actually. am more that happy for the other things that come with age. maturity and clarity. i have this sneaking suspicion - that 2009 is gonna rock!!

yes, 2009 is gonna rock. AND now i am back at work. started working at a new client. a multi-national petro-chemical outfit. still based in the cbd - thankfully. interesting project - mega SAP implementation. and once these people go live - it would be the largest SAP site globally. wow.

and this client is sorted. i arrived here at 09:30 on monday morning and my workstation was all set up. my new laptop, all access, the works. neil is well impressed, seriously. i do admit that i am getting a tad bored. i am in the 'reading / learning' phase. reading, reading, reading project management documentation, learning the solution, policies, procedures, health&safety regulations - urgh. just a tad boring, really...

very nice team of people working here. let's see how it goes but i know it's gonna go well. ok, no more updates for today.

yes, it's me and i'm back - sort of

hello! happy new year, compliments of the season, feliz navidad, etc. ok, now you are all wished. so... how's it been?

well... it's been fucking great. i'm just saying. i spent about 6 weeks on leave. was. divine. ah, i had suuuuch a great time - as you can see from my previous posts. so where did we finish off? ah, 29/12. so at this stage i was pissing with excitement for nye (new years eve). and let me tell you - it went off a friggin' treat. sporty, sannie and moi did the glodfish / dr victor concert at kirstenbosh. and it rocked - big time.

we got there in good time. trekked up what felt like a mountain (ok, it was a mountian) laden with our picnic goodies. stood in a line that would make ghandi impatient. i got through first. neil has NO patience for lines / waiting / etc. tres impatient - that's me. sporty and sannie being of the more 'take it easy' variety let EVERYONE push past them. ai, you know... i am from the hood and no fucker pushes past me. hell fucking no.

anyhoo - so i am in first and land this schweet little picnic spot. awww - it was so cute! LOL! so we sat there, drinking our jameson on the rocks and champers, eating our cheese platters, strawberries, etc. very posh, indeed. i noticed this rather large empty spot next to us. all covered in picnic blankets, with one old fart sitting there - guarding the spot. ai... these old fuckers...

anyway, so we are chilling, the sun is going down, etc - perfect. BUT then the occupants of the 'reserved' spot start traipsing in. and let me tell you... a bunch of old fuckers and their middle aged kids. now you can imagine - if your kids are already middle aged - you must've known noah for pete's sake. so they arrive and they are that irritating upper claremont type. granny arrives wearing her best pearls and beige cashmere twin-set + the obligatory white pedal pushers. grandpa is dressed like an aged, doddering university professor. one thought crossed my mind - do these geriatrics know who the fuck goldfish is?

so the concert starts and they seem at odds. obviously NOT their type of music. hellooooo - try googling the act next time. geez - some people. anyway, they hated the concert. i / we LOVED it. awesome sets by both acts. we got royally inebriated and danced the night away. what can i say - it was gefok.

had a nice late lunch on nyd with the family. and then chilled for another 10 days. my leave consisted of chilling, some more chilling and even more chilling. i'm just saying. a real reverie.

then my birthday arrived - more on that later ;)